Mystery & Magic in November

... and one year of Cake & Poetry!

Happy November! As I’m sure I said last year — and yes, it has officially been one year of Cake & Poetry! — I love November. It’s moody, and mysterious, and cozy, too. Just like this darling Holly Hobbie Magic-Glow Doll House, which of course I got c.1977 and still own. Sometimes I do think it’s a bit crazy to keep these beloved old things, but then I think: nah! Not crazy, wise.

Some of my undergraduates were recently lamenting growing older. “So sad!” is what they said. And, yes, I did feel privately exasperated and ancient, but also, yeah, I get it. Which is why staying in touch with my younger self matters so much to me. It’s fun to happen upon or go looking for something like the Magic-Glow house and set it up and have a little moment of childhood. Very grounding, if you ask me. Good to remember who you are.

I used to want to live in this dollhouse. Still do, kind of. Better yet, maybe it can live in me. Hmmm. Yes. That sounds about right.

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Every year, the Department of English at WVU, where I teach in the MFA program, compiles a book recommendation list. Often, I am “in charge” of this venture. This year, I‘ll be recommending two books that I am still actively reading (as opposed to “inactively reading,” which, alas, is also a thing): War and Peace, which I’ve written about before here on Cake & Poetry, and Peter Pan. The interesting thing for me about W&P is that I don’t particularly like or connect with any of the characters. In fact, I find them fairly tiresome. Which seems accurate. Lots of people are tiresome. But the novel includes so many people and plots that pretty much when one character or storyline is about to lose my interest, a different character or storyline takes over. And my most favorite parts of the novel are the history bits. I do love a good history lesson! Now I realize most readers won’t share this sentiment, but I really enjoy the feeling of my overall store of knowledge expanding. The cute smiling emoji with the glasses was made for just this feeling.

As for Peter Pan, of course I’ve seen the movie and the play, but I had never actually read the book until now. The writing is DELIGHTFUL, even with occasionally dismaying moments — things we wouldn't say now, or, even more sadly, still would. In any case, anyone who has ever played make-believe (or dated — haha) will relate to the goings-on of Peter and the Lost Boys and Wendy. Nana the dog is, of course, a star.

Another book that’s been on my mind lately is this version (the scariest version ever, if you ask me) of Pinocchio.

When I was a little girl (and now) this book scared me so much. I knew then, just as I still know, that if I were ever to be led astray, it would be by a fox and a cat in clothes. If the cat is wearing an eye patch, so much the worse. This could happen to me at any time. And it certainly does not bring any peace of mind to see my cat, Myrna, studying this book, the green of the cover just about the same green as her eyes.

All fairy tales are pretty scary, but Pinocchio has got to be one of the worst.

So, why keep this book?? Because the fox and cat are sooo cute! You see, the risk is very real. Every time I come upon this book tucked away in the basement, I think, “Oh! Here is that horrible book! I love it so much!” Just like with the Holly Hobbie house, this book is a touchstone, reminding me of my younger self: serious and whimsical Mary Ann.

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Are you a fan of gingerbread? I am. Not least because there’s something very “storybook” about it. These gingerbread muffins with lemon glaze were delicious. I used this recipe, and it’s a keeper.

I also recently made chocolate cake with maple buttercream. Wow. Talk about magical. I love maple, and if you do too, you’ll love this frosting. I used the King Arthur recipe, so you know it’s tired and true.

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Publication and Po’ Biz, as Rita Dove used to say in workshop, definitely falls into the mysterious and once-in-a-great-while magical category. And so does book organization. When I work with MFA students on their theses, the question of how to order the manuscript is always foremost in their minds. And mine too. I advise anyone setting out to organize a book of poems to return to books they love: how are those books structured and how does that ordering contribute to how we read the book?

In my own books, I’ve solved the organization problem in a number of ways: sections with titles and section-heading poems (Captivity Narrative and Inside the Yellow Dress); sections marked by blank pages (Purr); titled sections (My Life in Heaven); numbered sections (Air, Light, Dust, Shadow, Distance and the forthcoming The Return from Calvary); and, perhaps most interestingly, no sections and the poems alphabetized by title (Beauty Breaks In).

Why did I alphabetize the poems in Beauty Breaks In? Well, partly because I couldn't figure out how to order them. Usually, my books move seasonally and the poems are put in the order I wrote them and my books tend to end on a more positive note than where they began. But with Beauty Breaks In, I was writing about being stuck and the same issues cropped up over and over (in life and on the page) and the seasons whirled around as they do but I couldn't seem to make any progress. Finally, it seemed wisest to set the book up like the dictionary or an encyclopedia is arranged: “neutrally” so you can enter wherever you need.

The point is: you have options. In book-making and, a lot of times, in life. If no one else will give them to you, remember to give them to yourself. Best you can. That’s what I tell myself.

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Despite my love of November (and especially its moody weather), this November has not been an easy one. Maybe you feel this way, too.

Out of necessity, I’ve been even more on the lookout for beauty and solace: late-blooming flowers; particularly striking leaves; a squirrel enjoying a pumpkin; the pleasure of art-making; working in the garden and digging up the dahlia tubers; my sweet dogs and cat; and even time spent tending to my parents’ graves, which is something that feels deeply grounding to me.

Sometimes, even just noticing the sky is a big help. So, too, is thinking of you, out there, reading. So,thank you. As always, I hope there’s been something here that speaks to you. A little of this, a little of that, just like when I set out a year ago to discover what might be said about all things Cake & Poetry.

I’ll end with a poem (from Air, Light, Dust, Shadow, Distance) about all we’ve been talking about: childhood and mystery, hard days and complicated feelings, choosing to believe.

          AN IDEAL SITUATION

          The thought that I should have some other life persists.
          And two dreams, very similar: someone has moved my things.
          Come morning, the doe guards her fawns.
          Other days she's liked my best.
          Per usual, it's hard to get my bearings.
          This street runs east-west? Since when?
          For some, girlhood never ends. Am I among them?
          I wonder, expertly twirling my hair.
          Most days I keep worry at bay. Somehow.
          The evening is soft. Nothing is withheld. I get to choose.

Thanks for reading. Take good care. See you next time.